The opportunist.
So I have this friend….
who stated that I’m really funny. I tried to correct them by setting the record straight. ” I’m actually an opportunist. I’m always given the opportunity to be in a funky situation and I usually take it. Which leads to the abnormal reactionary phrases you hear coming out of my mouth.” – There, record set. Funny is only a reaction!
Office occupation.
So I have these friends…
who happen to work in my office, except work is not what I’d call what they do. As I sit here typing, also not working, I see them through my window watching a soccer game online while screaming whispered tones of GOAL!!! I wonder if I should be upset that they get to watch a soccer game without having a worry about job security. I leave it to unfairness of the times when some work to the bone for a measly low income paycheck and others get to sit around and still seem to make money. I have a fairly certain notion that this is what government work has to deal with as well and thus why our system is so screwed up.
So I have these friends who should be fired.
p.s. Sevilla just scored on their own goal. hahaha Sorry but it was pretty funny to watch the guys running around shaking their heads of OH NO.
Charity work.
So I have this friend….
who has these great charity ideas on how to save the world one raffle at a time. However, whenever these ideas formulate I end up being volunteered with the grunt work. So her great charity ideas are really me running around taking care of things and her contribution is coming up with the name!
So I have this friend… who does charity with her name and my body.
The definition of a crisis.
So I have this friend…
who texts me today that she needs to go out and talk for she’s having a crisis. I start freaking out thinking something awful has happen. My imagination is sparked with her Mom having had a bad result at the doctors, her dog getting hit by a car, or other major disasters only the word crisis could describe. We decided to head out to dinner after I get off my late night meeting. She looks a bit distressed as she sits down and I’m waiting patiently for the crisis news, then my patience runs out, I want to know already! I finally take the initiative and ask, ” So, what’s the crisis?” She downcast her head and says, ” Now I don’t want you to judge me…” Here I input a thought of what she must have done. She starts telling me what its like to be a laid off worker and blah, blah, blah. I’m sitting there antsy as ever wondering when the crisis will come up and finally I blow up, ” SO, WHAT’S THE CRISIS?”
Her answer, you ready for this?
” I don’t remember how to use Excel anymore!”
Seriously people? How do you define a crisis? I define it as a major disaster or a closeness of death, of anything. Her response was that it was a closeness of death to her ability to work in an office again! You’ve got to be kidding me.
So I’ve got this friend… who should never be interviewed on what a crisis entails.
